The Last Half Birthday

from by Carrie Dahlby

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about

Carrie Dahlby celebrates her "last half birthday" this Wednesday, August 22nd. She is acknowledging that significant event in her life with this song, inspired by barbershop quartets; specifically the "Barrytones" work recently released by Paul and Storm. She tries to insist that she has no age hang-ups and that this work is merely satire...

lyrics

“The Last Half Birthday”
By Carrie Dahlby

My half birthday is here
I’m 29 and a half this year
And this is the last half birthday
I’m ever gonna have

In six months is the 30th
Anniversary of my birth
So I’m gonna milk my remaining twenties
For all that they are worth...

I’m gonna be a pink princess, sequinned and pearled in the next six months
Visit every Starbucks in the whole wide world in the next six months
Perform with Steely Dan every night
Bring a suitcase full of snakes on a flight
Quit my job and get paid to play Light Brite in the next six months

I’m gonna bungee jump off the Eiffel Tower in the next six months
Use my laptop to assist Jack Bauer in the next six months
Be featured on the “News of the Stupid”
Get that engagement ring from cupid
Record a Beach Boys song about some soup up in the next six months

My last half birthday won’t be perfect
Mischke ain’t even airin’
And some kids have to go back to school
But listen to what I’m sayin’

Now I’ll do all I’ve ever wanted
All accomplishments and no strife
‘Cause in six months when I turn 30
It’s the end of my freakin’ life!

And I’ll never admit my age again!
And I’ll never acknowledge half birthdays again!

So I will drive a pink VW Beetle in the next six months
I’ll eat my weight in Cap’n Crunch cereal in the next months
I’ll do everything that I never did
But been wanting to do since I was a kid
‘Cause turning 30 I’ll be as old as shipwrecks
Which is in six months

My 30th birthday is like Death Day
A respectable family sedan
I will learn to play golf and wear appropriate bras
And never have fun again
No I’ll never be young again

credits

from Giant Kitten, released March 6, 2009

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about

Carrie Dahlby Chicago, Illinois

Carrie Dahlby made her first contributions to the world of comedy music on the albums of 'the great Luke Ski'. Later she made appearances in the songs of Sudden Death, Possible Oscar, and many more acts from TheFuMP.com. Her debut funny music CD "Happy Ranch" was released in 2007, her 2nd CD "Giant Kitten" was released in 2009, and her 3rd and latest CD "Sing All Funny Jokes" was released in 2014. ... more

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